God I'm awkward. Networking bust last night.

September 11, 2025

by a searcher from Vanderbilt University in Nashville, TN, USA

Quick story - last night I went to a networking mixer. Private suite event. It's a niche industry - restructuring and turnaround - mostly bankers and lawyers. Free drinks. I'm neither moneyed nor a legal scholar, but I am interested in an opportunity to consult for IT on a turnaround deal. Anyway, drink 1 beer. I do the small talk and find Mr. So and So who's like Senior Vice President of Commercial Credit for some Giant Retail Bank. We exchange pleasantries and I explain who I am and often I try to not even lead with business stuff, it seems like after a short period folks just are always like, "well I'm gonna go grab another one!" or "I'm gonna hit the rest room." I had this happen to me like 4 times last night. I just feel like I don't have much in common with these middle-market finance people but yet I have been part of M&A deals already and have been doing business for a long time. I legitimately do not understand what is happening. For context, I'm 42 years old, have had many conversations/relationships with very successful people and been in these sorts of situations with ease, but as I've tried to chart into unfamiliar waters with middle market M&A and turnaround I'm kind of falling flat. Any ideas?

Reply by a lender
from Mississippi State University in Nashville, TN, USA

I’ve met with you Rob. You were nice and easy to talk with. Don’t take it personally. Sounds like maybe just a boring group of bankers. Refer them to my LinkedIn and I will try to breathe some life into them 😂

Reply by a professional
from Western Washington University in Spokane, WA, USA

Networking is about engaging others - getting them to talk with questions that invite them to talk about themselves. Most people's favorite topic is... themselves. Ask them to tell you about themselves and then actively listen. Suddenly you will be their second favorite person, even stuffy people. What section of the market do you focus on? Tell me about the most difficult deals that you closed? What do they wish other people in the transaction would pay more attention to? Who has almost cratered a deal and what did you do, ms. banker / attorney / broker, to save it? What are you drinking and can I get you another? You'll go home energized and with a pocket full of business cards.

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