"There are a lot of ways to drive accountability and results. We believe that fostering an environment where people can share bad news and know they will be supported, not fileted, upon doing so is critical to creating trust-based relationships."

The Midwife Model

How to drive for a deeper honesty

Originally posted to: www.chenmark.com/weekly-thoughts

We are longstanding proponents of the belief that most of what one needs to effectively lead an organization can be taught by caring for small people. Creating an incentive program? First, try to get your child to eat her vegetables. Dealing with a difficult customer? Easy in comparison to handling a two-year-old tantrum. Struggling to manage conflicting priorities? NBD in comparison to trying to get work done, laundry cleaned and dinner made while home unexpectedly with sick beligerent children. Brokering a deal between two warring parties? Child’s play in comparison to negotiating which Disney show to watch first between highly opinionated siblings. The list goes on.

So when reading David Brooks’ recent book, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen we were reminded that keen management insights may present themselves even before a child arrives into the world. From the book:

“The Midwife Model. Many good conversations are reciprocal. Both people talk about half of the time. But some good conversations are, by necessity, lopsided. One person is going through a hard time or facing a big life decision, and the other person is accompanying them in their process of deliberation. When ministering to others in such circumstances, good conversationalists adopt the posture of a midwife.”

At Chenmark, we avoid a command and control approach to management. We rarely tell people what to do. Like a midwife, we position ourselves to help others work through whatever is on their mind on an as-needed basis. For us, there’s no other way to grow in a decentralized manner. That said, we are not just there to support. We must also challenge assumptions and drive for accountability. Turns out, midwives do the same. Again, from the book:

“A midwife is there not to give birth by simply to assist the other person in their creation. In conversation, a midwife is there not to lead with insights but to receive and build on the insights the other person is developing. The midwife is there to make the person feel safe, but she is also there to prod. There are always ways we’re not fully honest with ourselves. The midwife is there to encourage a deeper honesty.”

There are a lot of ways to drive accountability and results. We believe that fostering an environment where people can share bad news and know they will be supported, not fileted, upon doing so is critical to creating trust-based relationships. Like a midwife, we are also not doing our jobs if we don’t prod in situations where it feels like there may be more to the story. If a midwife’s role is to ultimately drive for deep honesty and truth, we’ll be happy adopters of the midwife model.

Have a great week,

Your Chenmark Team

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